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Taxes Information |
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Tax Jokes and Quotes
Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND? Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns. Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes." Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now." Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required." Q: Who audits IRS agents? Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out Form 1040EZ. Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion? Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling." Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth? A: Have them fill out a tax return. Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr." Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house. Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?" People often say death and taxes are the same, but thisis wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die. Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.
MORE RESOURCES: BLAKELY — Garbage fees will rise, but Blakely Borough Council doesn’t plan to hike electric rates or add property taxes as part of its proposed 2009 budget presented this week. The Three Gorges Project has turned over a total 20.277 billion yuan in national taxes since its first generating unit began operation on July 10, 2003, according to the State Administration of Taxation of the Three Gorges dam zone in Yichang, Hubei province. Since the first turbine generator was put in use, there are now 26 turbine generators in operation as of October 30 this year. By adding ... GREENFIELD - The value of single-family homes in the city has dropped, but the tax rate is projected to rise, yielding an overall increase in taxes for the average homeowner. ST. PAUL (AP) — Minnesotans are set to pay more property taxes next year if a number of proposed local tax levies are adopted. The government should move to collect taxes on assets to help close off loopholes in the tax system and raise funds to develop the country's social safety net, according to local academics. Despite a stable general fund budget and no projected increase in real estate taxes, there was a downside to the Loyalsock Township budget work session Thursday afternoon. It involved another sewer rate increase as the township deals with federal- and state-mandated sewer system improvements. Residents will see a 15-percent increase in sewer rates for 2009. The Treasurer Michael Aird is not ruling out new taxes as Tasmania faces financial circumstances he is calling exceptional. (Springfield, MO) -- Have you got your property tax bill in the mail yet? Notices for real estate and personal property taxes were mailed out in Greene County last week. RALEIGH, N.C. -- Higher taxes or fees for drivers and vehicle owners could be on the horizon if the Legislature agrees with recommendations tentatively approved Wednesday by a state transportation panel. The 21st Century Transportation Committee asked the General Assembly to consider raising the automobile sales tax and vehicle registration fees or even charging motorists for how many miles they ... LIVINGSTON, Mont. — A Montana man awaits sentencing in Minnesota for failing to pay more than $500,000 in federal taxes on the wages of people in his medical staffing business. |
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